Interests:surfing the net, listening to all sorts of music, hangin' out, meeting new people, collecting mp3's, reading, sleeping, thinking about metaphysical stuff, basta... Occupation:Student Industry:Research
after a long time of having to deal with the pathetic bitter longings
of solitary existence, i am proud to say that i've finally broken the
barrier. i have taken another chance at finding the one true person who
would make me complete. yes, i am now in a relationship... i know...
why subject myself to another potentially disparaging commitment? Why
take the risk of getting my heart broken again? Haven't I learned from
the lessons of the past? How irrational...
The truth is that I'm in a whirlwind type of romance - did not even
expect to fall in love that fast... i was caught unaware, all my
defenses were down... but up until this point, i have no regrets. I
just wish hat I would be able to steer this relationship away from all
of the negativity that I've acquired over the past few years of being
out of love. I'm ready to face new things in the arms of my newly found
baby.
i did the inevitable...
i called up the one person whom i've been dreading to call... i finally
mustered up enough guts to face the demons of the past and find the
answers to my eternally recurring questions...
i knew that it would have been dangerous had i attempted to establish
contact earlier on, so it took a LOT of encouragement to actually sway
me into making the move which would, as exaggerated as it may sound,
change my life. the moment i heard her voice, i knew i was home... it
felt so soothing and re-assuring to hear that familiar tone again..
we went on and on talking about the new things happening in our lives,
but the burning questions remained unaddressed until the last few
minutes of the conversation. i let out all of the things that i've kept
for the past 3 years... the love, anguish, insecurities, all of these
things that had been brimming inside my thoughts. i knew i could no
longer have her back, or at least i console myself with the sheer
thought that she was happy with her life without me by her side.
but the truth of the matter is that i still have intense feelings
towards her, and that i still wanna be that person who'd re-assure her
of the good things about her... i still wanna be that person she shares
her life with.. even if it's again only gonna last for 6 months...
it's stupid i know, but the good thing now is that i've stopped pinning
my hopes on things which i deem complicated enough to mess up my life
again. i'm starting anew and she's always gonna be a part of me...
that's it for now...
it's been more than a month since i last updated this blog... and i can tell you that a LOT has happened during that one month.
i finally found a job and i'll soon be one of the thousands of filipinos working in the call center industry... in as much as i wanted to forego the idea of working at a mispportune time, i have to coz i desperately need the money. it was a gruelling 5-step process with exams and interviews which really drained me out, but the feeling of fulfilment was so gratifying! now, i'm busy with the requirements for the job... i've been goin' around the gov't offices on a scorching summer day. it's so stressful...
i haven't had enough time to really think about vacation destinations this summer but i'll definitely make most out of it once i get through with summer classes... sheesh... gotta go out... haay...
uhmm... right now, what really bothers me is how to make this thing work with the acad load and the job... i've been trying to figure it all out these past few days, and hopefully, i can make both ends meet in a more convenient way... talk about mulit-tasking! geez...
just back from subic... i'm really glad that i got the chance to take a break...it wasn't anything spectacular like what i have been ranting about in my previous blog... but at least i tried some new stuff... like jetskiing and wakeboarding... it was sooo much fun. it was a very liberating experience... cutting through the waves while speeding up to 50 kph on the ocean surface... haay... the wind carrying mists of the saline water splattering on my face with every maneuver...the best!!!
another thing to look forward to is the diving lesson that my dad's friend from scuba shack promised me (after intoxicating him with enough beer to even make my tutorials free) and that shipwreck dive at grande island...i can't wait...
=back to reality=
i have 2 finals exams tomorrow... i spent some time studying for econ but i have yet to finish my reports and study for horticulture113... waah!!! but i know that i can make it... i will make it!!! i owe it to myself... i have to outdo myself... i need to prove something to myself... hehheh...
exams, papers, thesis... waah!!! got a lot of things to finish but i had to procrastinate coz i just couldn't get myself to concentrate on the things that i have to do. good thing summer vacation's just around the corner... i'm soooo excited to take a break. i'm planning to work during the vacation... i'll soon be part of the horde of people in the call center industry, i know the work might seem a bummer but i really need the money. it's been a while since i bought stuff for myself - i'm planning to get an iPod soon kaya i really need the job...
as to my innuendos, i'm go glad that it's summer na coz i need to unwind and get out of LB and steer clear from the ghosts of my pathetic solitary existence here. i just have to widen my horizons and meet new people...
i wanna go to the beach! i wanna go to bohol... haay... or galera... basta somewhere far from the city (as if LB is not rural enough ). i wanna lose myself in the breath taking splendor of the boracay sunset and drown myself in the crystal blue waters... i'd like to sink my feet in the powdery white sands... i'd just love to find a quiet nook in the coves of an unexplored area of the beach and just reflect on the things that i have to focus my attention on... i'd like to get intoxicated and go skinny dipping... hehheh... I WANT TO GET MY LIFE BACK...
and as i type this, i find it ironic that i am stuck here in front of a computer screen imagining these things subconsciously thinking of the heavy academic requirements that i need to finish while my mind drifts off to the farthest reaches of the planet... haay... it's so friggin pathetic!
and that shipwreck dive at grande island...i can't wait... 
but i know that i can make it... i will make it!!! i owe it to myself... i have to outdo myself... i need to prove something to myself... hehheh... 
got a lot of things to finish but i had to procrastinate coz i just couldn't get myself to concentrate on the things that i have to do. good thing summer vacation's just around the corner... i'm soooo excited to take a break. i'm planning to work during the vacation... i'll soon be part of the horde of people in the call center industry, i know the work might seem a bummer but i really need the money. it's been a while since i bought stuff for myself - i'm planning to get an iPod soon kaya i really need the job... 
). i wanna lose myself in the breath taking splendor of the boracay sunset and drown myself in the crystal blue waters... i'd like to sink my feet in the powdery white sands... i'd just love to find a quiet nook in the coves of an unexplored area of the beach and just reflect on the things that i have to focus my attention on... i'd like to get intoxicated and go skinny dipping... hehheh... I WANT TO GET MY LIFE BACK...